离娄上 · 第 04 / 28 章 · 孟子 4A.4
《孟子·离娄上》4A.4：行有不得，反求诸己
孟子把“爱人不亲、治人不治、礼人不答”都拉回自我检验：遇到关系失灵，先反求诸己，而不是先把责任全部外抛。
孟子曰：「爱人不亲，反其仁；治人不治，反其智；礼人不答，反其敬。行有不得者，皆反求诸己。其身正而天下归之。《诗》云：『永言配命，自求多福。』」
英文参考译文
Mencius said, 'If a man love others, and no responsive attachment is shown to him, let him turn inwards and examine his own benevolence. If he is trying to rule others, and his government is unsuccessful, let him turn inwards and examine his wisdom. If he treats others politely, and they do not return his politeness, let him turn inwards and examine his own feeling of respect. When we do not, by what we do, realise what we desire, we must turn inwards, and examine ourselves in every point. When a man's person is correct, the whole kingdom will turn to him with recognition and submission. It is said in the Book of Poetry, "Be always studious to be in harmony with the ordinances of God, And you will obtain much happiness."'
重点修订页
人工补强的解释层
核心问题
孟子为什么在关系受挫时强调“反求诸己”？
直接回答
因为真正可控制、可修复的第一环总在自己身上。先检查仁、智、敬是否到位，才能分清到底是自己失正，还是对方失道。
第一性原理
修身不是自责成瘾，而是优先处理自己真正能改动的变量。
为什么重要
这章能把孟子从抽象德性拉回到日常关系治理，适合承接“反求诸己”“自我反省”“如何处理不被回应”等搜索意图。
延伸阅读
这章在做什么
这章是《离娄上》第 4 / 28 章，最直接的进入线索是“爱人不亲，反其仁”。放回全卷，它讨论的是自反、乱世与守道，并可与仁政互相印证。
更宽的搜索入口
如果你带着更宽的问题进入这一章，先从正确的 hub 页进入
全卷语境
《离娄上》经常从自反与守道的角度讨论乱世中的行动标准。
关联主题
引用提示
不要把“反求诸己”读成无限内耗。它的前提是先校正自身，再判断世界，而不是取消对外部事实的辨认。