离娄上 · 第 18 / 28 章 · 孟子 4A.18
《孟子·离娄上》4A.18：为什么君子不亲自教子
孟子解释父子之间为什么不宜直接责善：问题不在教育本身，而在最亲关系里一旦以正相逼、继之以怒，关系与教导会一起受损。
公孙丑曰：「君子之不教子，何也？」孟子曰：「势不行也。教者必以正；以正不行，继之以怒；继之以怒，则反夷矣。『夫子教我以正；夫子未出于正也。』则是父子相夷也。父子相夷则恶矣。古者易子而教之，父子之间不责善，责善则离，离则不祥莫大焉。」
英文参考译文
Gong Sun Chou said, 'Why is it that the superior man does not himself teach his son?' Mencius replied, 'The circumstances of the case forbid its being done. The teacher must inculcate what is correct. When he inculcates what is correct, and his lessons are not practised, he follows them up with being angry. When he follows them up with being angry, then, contrary to what should be, he is offended with his son. At the same time, the pupil says, 'My master inculcates on me what is correct, and he himself does not proceed in a correct path." The result of this is, that father and son are offended with each other. When father and son come to be offended with each other, the case is evil. The ancients exchanged sons, and one taught the son of another. Between father and son, there should be no reproving admonitions to what is good. Such reproofs lead to alienation, and than alienation there is nothing more inauspicious.'
重点修订页
人工补强的解释层
核心问题
为什么孟子说君子不亲自教子？
直接回答
因为父子关系太近，一旦直接以‘责善’方式推进，极容易从纠正滑向动怒；那时孩子不仅不受教，反而会把父亲自身也一起拖进冲突里，最后关系和教导双输。
第一性原理
最重要的关系，不一定适合承担最直接的纠偏功能；当关系本身比纠偏动作更基础时，保护关系有时就是保护长期教育。
为什么重要
这章适合承接“孟子 教育子女”“责善则离”“family education and moral correction”这类搜索，也是本站教育方法论的重要原典支点。
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这章在做什么
这章是《离娄上》第 18 / 28 章，最直接的进入线索是“君子之不教子，何也”。放回全卷，它讨论的是自反、乱世与守道，并可与性善互相印证。
更宽的搜索入口
如果你带着更宽的问题进入这一章，先从正确的 hub 页进入
全卷语境
《离娄上》经常从自反与守道的角度讨论乱世中的行动标准。
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引用提示
不要把它读成父母可以放弃教养。孟子不是取消教育，而是调整路径：有些善要借他人之教来完成，避免至亲关系被直接责善烧坏。