Wan Zhang II · Passage 03 / 09 · 孟子 5B.3

Mencius 5B.3: friendship rests on virtue, not status

Mencius strips friendship of age, rank, and family leverage so that mutual regard can be grounded in virtue rather than hierarchy or display.

萬章問曰：「敢問友。」孟子曰：「不挾長，不挾貴，不挾兄弟而友。友也者，友其德也，不可以有挾也。孟獻子，百乘之家也，有友五人焉：樂正裘、牧仲，其三人則予忘之矣。獻子之與此五人者友也，無獻子之家者也。此五人者亦有獻子之家，則不與之友矣。非惟百乘之家為然也，雖小國之君亦有之。費惠公曰：『吾於子思則師之矣，吾於顏般則友之矣，王順、長息，則事我者也。』非惟小國之君為然也，雖大國之君亦有之。晉平公之於亥唐也，入云則入，坐云則坐，食云則食。雖疏食菜羹，未嘗不飽，蓋不敢不飽也。然終於此而已矣，弗與共天位也，弗與治天職也，弗與食天祿也。士之尊賢者也，非王公之尊賢也。舜尚見帝，帝館甥于貳室，亦饗舜，迭為賓主，是天子而友匹夫也。用下敬上，謂之貴貴；用上敬下，謂之尊賢。貴貴、尊賢，其義一也。」

wàn zhāng wèn yuē：「gǎn wèn yǒu。」 mèng zǐ yuē：「bù xié cháng， bù xié guì， bù xié xiōng dì ér yǒu。 yǒu yě zhě， yǒu qí dé yě， bù kě yǐ yǒu xié yě。 mèng xiàn zǐ， bǎi chéng zhī jiā yě， yǒu yǒu wǔ rén yān： lè zhèng qiú、 mù zhòng， qí sān rén zé yǔ wàng zhī yǐ。 xiàn zǐ zhī yǔ cǐ wǔ rén zhě yǒu yě， wú xiàn zǐ zhī jiā zhě yě。 cǐ wǔ rén zhě yì yǒu xiàn zǐ zhī jiā， zé bù yǔ zhī yǒu yǐ。 fēi wéi bǎi chéng zhī jiā wéi rán yě， suī xiǎo guó zhī jūn yì yǒu zhī。 fèi huì gōng yuē：『wú wū zǐ sī zé shī zhī yǐ， wú wū yán bān zé yǒu zhī yǐ， wáng shùn、 cháng xī， zé shì wǒ zhě yě。』 fēi wéi xiǎo guó zhī jūn wéi rán yě， suī dà guó zhī jūn yì yǒu zhī。 jìn píng gōng zhī wū hài táng yě， rù yún zé rù， zuò yún zé zuò， shí yún zé shí。 suī shū shí cài gēng， wèi cháng bù bǎo， gài bù gǎn bù bǎo yě。 rán zhōng wū cǐ ér yǐ yǐ， fú yǔ gòng tiān wèi yě， fú yǔ zhì tiān zhí yě， fú yǔ shí tiān lù yě。 shì zhī zūn xián zhě yě， fēi wáng gōng zhī zūn xián yě。 shùn shàng jiàn dì， dì guǎn shēng yú èr shì， yì xiǎng shùn， dié wéi bīn zhǔ， shì tiān zǐ ér yǒu pǐ fū yě。 yòng xià jìng shàng， wèi zhī guì guì； yòng shàng jìng xià， wèi zhī zūn xián。 guì guì、 zūn xián， qí yì yī yě。」

Wan Chang asked Mencius, saying, 'I venture to ask the principles of friendship.' Mencius replied, 'Friendship should be maintained without any presumption on the ground of one's superior age, or station, or the circumstances of his relatives. Friendship with a man is friendship with his virtue, and does not admit of assumptions of superiority. There was Meng Xian, chief of a family of a hundred chariots. He had five friends, namely, Yue Zheng Qiu, Mu Zhong, and three others whose names I have forgotten. With those five men Xian maintained a friendship, because they thought nothing about his family. If they had thought about his family, he would not have maintained his friendship with them. Not only has the chief of a family of a hundred chariots acted thus. The same thing was exemplified by the sovereign of a small State. The duke Hui of Bi said, "I treat Zi Si as my Teacher, and Yan Ban as my Friend. As to Wang Shun and Chang Xi, they serve me." Not only has the sovereign of a small State acted thus. The same thing has been exemplified by the sovereign of a large State. There was the duke Ping of Jin with Hai Tang - when Tang told him to come into his house, he came; when he told him to be seated, he sat; when he told him to eat, he ate. There might only be coarse rice and soup of vegetables, but he always ate his fill, not daring to do otherwise. Here, however, he stopped, and went no farther. He did not call him to share any of Heaven's places, or to govern any of Heaven's offices, or to partake of any of Heaven's emoluments. His conduct was but a scholar's honouring virtue and talents, not the honouring them proper to a king or a duke. Shun went up to court and saw the sovereign, who lodged him as his son-in-law in the second palace. The sovereign also enjoyed there Shun's hospitality. Alternately he was host and guest. Here was the sovereign maintaining friendship with a private man. Respect shown by inferiors to superiors is called giving to the noble the observance due to rank. Respect shown by superiors to inferiors is called giving honour to talents and virtue. The rightness in each case is the same.'